On the Road Again

To say our eating habits have been questionable for the past week would be the understatement of 2008. Since Christmas Eve, we have been snacking, nibbling, eating, and tasting everything that comes in front of us. Nick and I are now in Virginia, visiting my folks after a another trademark hurricane Christmas season. The travels are adding a few inches to our bellies. But, that's what the holidays are for - a little indulgence.

Christmas Eve mass was spent at our parish where we got 2nd pew seats because Nick was Eucharistic minister and one of God's top ten. As wife, I get a special view, too. We ignored the warnings to avoid the 4pm mass, which was rumored to be a madhouse with all the children attending, and I should have brought peanuts to feed the wild things. It was a gorgeous mass, but, woah...it was crazy.

From there, we went to Massillon, my old stomping grounds, and opened up gifts with my sister, brother, and their kids. We had a meal large enough for the US Army and barely put a dent in it. Nick and I camped out on their couches and were awakened at approximately 6am to a 3 year old loudly whispering, "Is Santa going to come through the chimney or the door?"



We stayed to watch the kids tear into their presents which included the largest toy dinosaur I've ever seen. A little around 8am, we took off for Russia. As every year, we attended the Cordonnier side and then the Borchers and made off with great gifts including a beautiful print out of a Cordonnier family tree, iTunes gift cards, a printer, food processor, a new camera lens, and hefty gift certificates. Nick received, twice, his request for a DVD copy of A League of Their Own. HOORAY!



The Borchers family had an unusual debacle of cinematic proportions when we went to see Valkyrie, the newest Tom Cruise movie. We ended up splitting up, uneven orders of popcorn, and a disastrous miscommunication about seating. The results were Kelly declaring it one of the worst moments EVER and Nick straining his neck for a full minute to see if anyone was going to pass him a bucket of popcorn. Keith reappears from the bathroom just as the movie begins while Jay and I just decide to keep quiet and watch the previews. It's one of those situations that doesn't sound like a big deal but just is when you're experiencing it. Lesson: always communicate before going into a family movie experience as to who is sitting where, how much popcorn should be ordered, who needs to go to the bathroom, and never ask questions if you get separated.

We all headed to Columbus to sadly watch the OSU Buckeyes get a spanking from West Virginia's bball team and then headed to Champ's for dinner. Kelly's husband, Tim, was nearly drowning in excitement to watch the UFC fights that night and so we headed off to his place for good night of Bud Light and UFC blood. Happy Holidays!

Nick and I took off Sunday morning for Virginia, where we are now, to spend time with my parents who couldn't make it up to Ohio for the holidays. It's amazing outside - a near 65 degrees - and Nick and I took a hike this morning for fresh air. It feels like the middle of April.

We'll be here until the new year to help celebrate a few things: our nephew Jesse turns the big TWO today. Tomorrow, my folks celebrate their 37th wedding anniversary, and, of course, we'll toast 2009 in together as well.

Cheers to the holidays and safe travels!

Merry Christmas!

The Cookie Monster

My sister Carmen and I tried to do something creative to take my medicated mind off the pain. So we decided to make Christmas cookies.

This was actually more of her baking and my watching TV and then hobbling into the kitchen to help decorate.

They were the most hideous looking things I've ever created.

I had to hold onto my stitches because we were laughing so hard at how ugly they were.

Winner in picture.

This is Me on Drugs

I had surgery yesterday.

I am in recovery now, about 60% "with it" as the anesthesia continues to wear off and the painkillers begin after the upteenth trip to the pharmacy.

Let me explain.

Back in 1999, the summer before my junior year at Xavier, I had a big surgery, the kind where they actually open you up, to remove ovarian tumors and cysts that were causing sharp abdominal pain. After biopsy, the report read BENIGN and confirmed they were dermoid tumors - relatively harmless, usually benign, but complicating the life of women like me nonetheless. I fully recovered and healed and went on my merry way of life.

After I got back from the Philippines, I went hunting for a good doctor and went through the whole assessment testing, which included an ultrasound given my medical record. According to my results, things looked a little fuzzy around my ovaries again and my doctor began consulting with a specialist. Nick and I started meeting with doctors over the past two months and they recommended Laparoscopy to take a look inside and remove anything that shouldn't be there - scar tissue from my previous surgery and these new growths that are being spotted again.

Laparoscopy pretty much reminds me of a three armed Inspector Gadget like person sticking one hand - camera and flashlight device - right below my belly button, and then two hands on each side of my waist which are like robotic hands to manipulate my organs and remove anything the doctor deems problematic.

Simple enough.

So, around October, my doctors told me I'd probably need this but a billion reasons to wait came up. First I needed to do additional appointments with another doctor who would be doing the surgery. That took 5 weeks. And then December started getting crowded. And then no operating rooms were available. And then insurance compatibility came into question. And then Sunday night I had 102 temp with a case of strep. With antibiotics, the doctor at urgent care wasn't sure if I'd be able to have surgery. We placed a frantic call to my doctor/surgeon. He said as long as we tell the anesthesiolgist, we should be ok.

FINALLY though, it all came to fruition yesterday. After all the months of waiting and getting sick earlier this wake, it was finally here.

My surgery was scheduled for Wednesday, December 17 at 1:30 and we arrived an hour early like they suggested. I had been so ready for this surgery, I didn't really feel all that nervous and I knew it wasn't go to be as extensive as the one I had almost 10 years ago. So, Nick and I hung out, admiring my name on the wipe board and gave the socially awkward nurse a new name - George. One, he looked like George Kostanza from Seinfeld and two he was a bit like George O'Malley from Grey's Anatomy.

Dr. Liu, the chairman of some uber important department at Case Western and supposedly the best in his field, was my surgeon. Grateful isn't a strong enough word when you have excellent healthcare and benefits. While he doesn't have a lick of Dr. McDreamy/Patrick Demsey in him, he was a thorough and surprisingly giggling doctor. At first, I was taken aback by his constant smiling and small laughs that followed everything he said, but Nick seemed to like it. He thinks anytime a doctor is not somber it shows your case is not that serious.

The nurse looked disapprovingly at my nose and said, "You'll have to take out all body piercings," but her look said, "WHY DO YOU YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO RADICAL?"
I asked if there was anyway to keep it in because I was afraid of the hole closing. You'd think from the look she gave me that I asked for a push of crack before I went under.

Anyway, the narcotics and drugs started pouring in around 1:50pm and the last thing I remember is watching a needle go in and a doctor's voice say, "this is a narcotic, it's going to feel like I gave you a shot of tequila..." and Nick saying, "Oh, it won't take much, believe me..." and then laughter. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my skull and the doctor yelp, "Woah!" as I slumped and don't remember anything else.

I awoke as they were prepping me in the O.R. and noticed it was all men fussing over me and tucking in my arms really tight at my side and wrapping me with blankets. I wished someone would talk to me as I started seeing little shapes in the air float around. One of the last things Nick said to me was that if his mom had been there as the nurse, she definitely would've talked to the patient, but everyone was too busy being nurse, doctor, or anesthesiologist to make small chatter. Too bad.

Then I was knocked out again.

I awoke to a nurse calling my name and feeling like a train ran over me. She was asking if felt alright and I nodded thickly, wanting to see Nick but not having ability to move. Something was up my nose and I felt like I was the only person in the hospital.

She leaned over and semi-yelled, "Would you like to take a nap?"

I tried to muster the strength to yell back, "Yeah if you stop screaming in my ear. I had tumors removed from my ovaries not my ears." But I just nodded and went back into a dream world.

I awoke to find Nick and my sister. And something in my right eye.
I could barely talk or walk to the bathroom, but felt like there was a grain of sand tucked behind my eyelid.

It was around 8pm by now and I thought I'd be home by 6pm. It was taking much longer than we anticipated. It was right around that time when I realized I was hungry. I wasn't permitted to eat since dinner the last night and felt weak and nauseated from my empty stomach. Nick placed a graham cracker on my lips and I took a bite.

It might have been the drugs. It may have been the fact I was so hungry I could have eaten a hippo, but I tell you, that graham cracker exploded on my tongue with flavors I've never experienced. The honey and sugar melted all over my tongue and coated my dry mouth. And the ginger ale! The sweetness waved over my teeth and I thought it tasted like heaven. My taste buds were reborn. I wanted to savor it.

In the meanwhile, lovely nurse Julia who I didn't rename because I liked her pulled some doctor from boofoo to look at my eye. The pain was worsening and he took one look and said I'd have to see an opthamologist to diagnose it. Thanks genius. I think my 3 year old nephew could have given that medical advice. The best part is that he was walking away as he said it. Nice attitude.

He came back and said to the nurse, "Well, just say that I examined her and it could be something. It could be nothing. You won't be able to find an opthamologist at this hour (harr, harr, he laughed - what the hell is so funny about that? I have a grain of sand in the back of my eye - how comfortable do you think THAT is)."

The he says, "Maybe conjunctivitis."

That's when I said in my head to myself because my lips were immobile, "Get this fool out of here. Even I know it's not pink eye and why in the hell would I have pink eye after I wake up after surgery."

He looked at me for once, "How do you feel?"

Pissed off at this Dr. Faux, "Terrible."

Lovely nurse Julia privately didn't like the doctor either. She kept saying it wasn't right to send me home in pain if it was caused by my surgery and didn't give me meds for it. She proceeds to call all these different doctors - all of whom, I'm sure - are eating their roast beef dinners in their condos or lake front houses. Dr. Liu, my surgeons is finally reached and gives a possible diagnosis that makes sense: corneal abrasion.

During the procedure it's possible that my right eye wasn't completely closed and without the lubricating protection of a blink or being fully closed, the gas used to pump up my body during the procedure had caused slight damage.

Fine. More drugs.

At this point, I feel old.

The eye drops feel like I threw rubbing alcohol into my eye and I nearly screamed in shock when they coated my eye. Nurse Julia, "Yeah, that's definitely an abrasion if it hurts." Great.

More drugs to combat nausea.

More graham cracker heaven and ginger ale.

We drive home.

It takes me eons to get on the living room couch and ask Nick for a strange compilation of foods: graham crackers, milk, peanut butter, banana. mashed potatoes, green bean.

I have no idea what that's about, but he writes everything down and jets off to the store while I am falling asleep sitting up.

The drugs are messing with my brain. I wake up three times with my arms in front of me, wacking the air and vision of neon parakeets flying in front of my face. I'm yelling, "No! No!"

Poor Nick has to deal with his psychotic wife who has delusions of a parakeet and needs mashed potatoes.

This is the prognosis that Nick gave me from my doctor:
The surgery was much more complicated than expected, but it was successful. There was considerable scar tissue from my previous surgery which took a long time to remove. Small dermoids were removed from my right and one larger one was removed from my left. The procedure, which he first estimated to take 1 hr and fifteen minutes took over two and a half. Poor Nick was in the waiting room with no one informing him of what was taking so long until George Kostanza/O'Malley came in to tell him everything went well. That was five minutes before the doctor came though. Nice effort, George.

So, right now, I'm in a lot of pain and keeping my mind busy so I don't think about it.
We thank everyone for their support and prayers. Recovery time should be about two weeks. I'll be able to travel for the holiday but will be sitting most of the time and steering clear from the stairs.

And just as 2009 arrives, I'll be as good as new.

Again, thanks to all for their prayers and well-wishes. Once I'm off the drugs, I can thank you properly in person.

LBJ

I went to my first Cavs game last week.

My brother, Fran, has season tickets and they were mighty good seats, too. As a season ticket holder, he was able to bring me out to the floor and I was able to touch the floor for good luck.

Lebron is simply a beast. Incredible. Superhuman. He's a beast. I was able to snap some good pics of him. I was in awe the whole time.

Stroll Down Memory Lane

It is the end of the year and I always right a Year in Review. That probably won't be posted until we edge toward New Year's Eve, but going back even further than a year, I was thinking about how much has happened to my life, Nick's life, our life since we smashed cake into each other's faces and our guests started taking bets who would win in a wrestling match. A lot has changed, especially this year.

Nick's doctoral program, moving to Boston, moving to Cleveland, buying our first home, my trip to the Philippines, Nick's new job, the garbage disposal...all these things have given us tremendous opportunities to grow and learn about ourselves and each other.

We thank God everyday for each of our friends and family members who have supported us this year. And while my Year in Review is still a few weeks away, we just wanted to take this time and say Thank You to all of you who have prayed for us, helped us move in anyway, and assist us in realizing our dreams.

So, thanks. (in a really, really big, Statue of Liberty kind of way)

(By the way, in case you don't remember, or didn't see our wedding cake fight, just know that I TOTALLY won. Look at his face if you need evidence.)

Thank You, Chicago!

I can't believe I forgot to post this, but I had my first public reading last weekend!

make/shift magazine, for which I edit, had a public reading in Chicago and invited me to read some of my work along with four other writers. I was so excited! My first public reading.

Unfortunately, Nick was still getting over whatever bug he had left in his system and we thought it best for him to just get rest so he can fully recuperate. Bummer, though, because it was a thrilling experience.

I drove to Chicago Friday morning and stayed with an old friend who lives in the city. That night, I expected about 10-20 people to show. I figured the weather was FRIGID - about 4 people died over the weekend in Chicago because of the cold - and I expected most folks to stay in doors. Would you believe we had a wonderful crowd of 40 folks or so, all interested in hearing us read our work and talk about our magazine. Isn't that lovely?

The weirdest moment came when someone asked me for my autograph. No joking. No shit.

My autograph?

"Would you sign it right by your name?"
Sure.
"Would you personalize it as well?"
Uh, ok.
Scibble, scribble - Thanks for your support, Lisa F-B.
"Can I contact you?"
Getting weird. Um, you can see my contact information on the website, my email is there.
"Can I send you something directly?"
No, that's ok. If you ever have questions about the magazine or my work, you can email me. Like I said, email is the best way for me.
"All they have here is a p.o. box address. Can I have your real address?"
NO.
"I like your dress. It's really cute."

Ok, now I am walking away from the guy.

So, other than that tiny exchange, I was all smiles at the Women and Children First Bookstore. The rest of the weekend was picture taking and, sure enough, the backdrop of Chicago is a beauty. Interested in some pics of the city? Click here.

The Christmas Problem

Last month I joined Facebook (an online social networking thingy that's oodles of fun and lets you keep in touch with your best friend from pre-school on the east coast) and have been putting weekly plugs in Nick's ear to join as well. His worry: it might be too much work.

(It requires you to periodically check an online account and click a button that says, "Yes this person _______ is my friend." CLICK. _______ is added to your friend list.
Nick still maintains this is work.)

I posted this picture on my Facebook account and entitled it, "The Christmas Problem," and promised to name the tree after whomever gave the best advice on how to move forward. Here's the background:

Nick and I were debating about fake vs. real trees. Of course we have completely different opinions. Nick grew up with the former. I grew up with the latter. I wanted the latter. Nick wanted the former. You can guess how this debate went. Finally, Nick said, "I just don't want our house to burn down." Apparently this happens more with real trees? I'm not sure of that, but it sounded pretty convincing so we decided artificial is the way to go.

So I'm out hunting for deals and spot the last 9ft. artificial tree in the window ON SALE! Of course, I can't pass that down, so I put on my aggressive face and elbow my way to the counter. She tells me there are none left. Sold out.

I end up buying the display and am so proud of my timing and skills on the Super Tall tree that I speed home to show Nick our newest purchase. Not wanting to spoil my excited blabbering about my great deal, he smiles encouragingly and pats my shoulder. His eyes flicker a bit when I boast that it's 9ft tall. "How's that going to fit?"

I immediately think, "Well, you turn it sideways and walk through the door. Getting it in won't be THAT hard."

He sees my confused look and clarifies, "The ceiling. We probably don't have 10ft. ceilings."

We don't?

No. (Take a look at the picture.) We don't.

So, after a week of having a tilted tree, we ended up taking out the middle section so it now stands at a boring 7.5ft.

I never received so many messages via Facebook about The Christmas Problem. The suggestions ranged from cutting a hole in either the ceiling or floor to sawing the middle pole. Amazing how no one suggested taking out one section. That was my idea.

SOOOO, I guess I'll name it after me: The Lisa Problem.

Baby Lombardo-Ball aka Baby Lomball

We love you and are so excited! See you in January!

ps- I knew these old photos of you guys would come in handy someday. Either for humiliation or blackmail! Yessssssss!

Nick's Sick

He's snoring like a whale, poor guy. He wasn't feeling that great over Thanksgiving weekend, but he mustered up all his strength to fully participate in all family events.

We returned to our beloved Cleveland and it was downhill from there. I woke up this morning to his ragged breathing and him poking me in the arm, "Leese? Could you get get me some medicine? And orange juice? And bread to make toast? And starter logs to make a fire? And some movies from Blockbuster?"

Now while some people don't like when their spouses ask them to do things, I absolutely adore it and jump at the chance to buy him things. Nick is so low maintenance that I get a thrill from buying him cold medicine. In all the years I've known Nick, this is probably the 4th time he's ever asked me to do something for him. Feeling domestic and all wife-like, I happily oblige.

And so I made him soup and stocked up on meds. We watched movie after movie today and had a roaring fire to keep warm.

He missed work today and since I am happily unemployed for the time being, I enjoyed the rare company in the house.

Here's a few photos of our first Thanksgiving in our house with my side of the family. It took place the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I was proud to host our first holiday and cooked my heart out. Click here for pics.