The Evolution of the Grandson

My brother Fran has four kids, 3 of them are boys. Nick and I try to visit their family in North Canton as often as we can. Now that the weather is turning, it's easier to get down there and let all the kids run around. (Well, Isaiah, for now, just kind of lays there.) It's amazing to me to know they will all grow up together and are so close in age. Cousins are an invaluable part of our lives and I know it's true for Nick and I that we love spending time with our cousins. So, it's important for us to see Isaiah grow familiar with his.

When we see our niece and nephews, we get a glimpse of what's in store for us down the road. A lot of it looks wonderful. Some of it looks a bit intimidating...

Right after this picture was taken, Zach started hiding in the living room. He finally admitted to Suzi (my sister-in-law and Zach's mom) that he had swallowed a nickel. Specifically, it was Jesse's nickel.

Apparently this wasn't the first time one of the kids swallowed a coin. So after a scolding and punishment, Zach was sent to his room. Jesse, looking adorably confused as to why Zach was in trouble asked what happened. When he realized his beloved little $.05 was missing he screamed at the top of his lungs, "MY NICKEL!!!!!!"

As sad as he was, I couldn't help but laugh my butt off -- he was just so darned cute and the situation was so ridiculous. He left the table with his head down in utter sorrow.

I looked at Isaiah, munching away on tongue and watching angels float around him, and wondered what was in store for him. If he was going to swallow any precious heirlooms or coveted trinkets in the future.

God, I hope not. I still need to learn know how to do the heimlich maneuver.

A Year Ago

I was just looking through some old things and organizing our office when I realized that one year, I had just returned from my 2 month trip to the Philippines.

So much has changed in one year as Nick and I have settled into jobs, our first house, our 4th year of marriage, and, now, our first pregnancy.

These were the roses that Nick bought and greeted me with when I returned home. I don't think I'll ever forget how wonderful those months were, but I don't think I'll ever forget how dreadful it was to be separated for that long, too.

Looking back, I am so grateful that I went on that trip that was so much more than a trip. It taught me so many things about interdependence, family, culture, and belonging. It was worth every sacrifice made to bring it to fruition. It also sweetened our marriage in ways that I never expected. Never again since I have returned home have I taken Nick for granted. Not once, not one day.

If I, or we, ever seem cheesy or overly happy, it's because, frankly, we are and after being on the other side of the earth for 9 weeks without him, it taught me a thing or two about gratitude and love.

Like Father, Like Son

Two words: car accident.

UGH.

Minor, but any form of a car accident has a ripple effect. It puts these tiny but significant wrinkles in your day.

Nick was at a complicated 4 or 5 way stop, turned into the intersection while someone decided to pause and keep going into the intersection, part of her brain erasing one important fact: THERE'S ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IN THE INTERSECTION.

A frontal collision, the bumper ripped off, some damage that left her car scratched and ours not drivable. The most important thing, obviously, is that Nick is fine and the only thing affected was his anxiety over paper work, car rental, insurance, and my need to get to work that morning but our 1-car situation made that slightly impossible.

UGH.

Nick is fantastic in high stress situations. He claims it's very Borchers of him, and I must agree. When the pressure is on, the shields and blinders come up so he only sees his goal, strategy, and the most direct access to resolving the issue. My brain, in times of crisis, assesses the likelihood of survival and then ponders how precious life is, how short and fleeting our dreams are...You can see the difference.

What I think is hilarious is we were just in Russia this weekend when Kay and Kelly (Nick's mom and sister) were out running errands when the car overheated. Fortunately but against Kay's will, they pulled off the road to make sure the car didn't explode or anything like that.

They call Ron (Nick's Dad).

According to Kelly and Kay, it was 2:40pm when they called and Ron said he could leave in about 20 minutes. According to Kelly and Kay, they sighed and complained to one another as to why he couldn't leave right then and there. According to Kelly and Kay, he should just come to their rescue whenever a crisis occurs.

Ron comes to the rescue, of course.

We all laugh at the expectations in the story and I giggle at some of the similarities I see in Nick whenever a crisis occurs.

While Nick was the one in the accident, he called to let me know, ask me to find the location of the closest Enterprise, but then took care of all of the details after that. I did nothing. I offered my help, but I just sat there, watching him make phone call after phone call, eating my salad and listening to him give policy numbers and identifying information a bazillion times to a bazillion people.

UGH.

When he was done, I threw my arms around him in a big hug and asked if I could make him something to eat, relax, and take a moment to enjoy the fact that he was fine, our life is great, and no one was hurt.

He just smiled, said, "No, thanks...I'm heading off to work now to get some stuff done."

My forehead wrinkled in confusion and disbelief, "Uh, you work for a parish. I think most folks would understand if you're in a car wreck to at least take your lunch hour to breathe."

But he just grabbed his briefcase, kissed me, and walked out the door, heading to the office, his original destination.

You gotta hand it to that Borchers work ethic...they sure don't mess around.

What IS It about Old Pictures...

that makes you want to bawl your face out?

I mean, I lead a perfectly content, challenged, intellectually stimulated and emotionally satisfying existence with the love of my life, a great family, and more blessings than I can keep track of...

So, why is it, when I glimpse a photo of childhood, I find my hand drifting toward a roll of toilet paper to gently dry my flooding cheeks?

Is it the nostalgia? The lost innocence? Realization of age? Sweet memories? I mean, I'm sure life was great right before I turned six years old, but I think it's radically better now that I:
1) Do not share a bathroom with my siblings
2) Drive
3) Prepare whatever I want for meals
4) DO NOT SIT THROUGH PHONICS CLASSES AND BAND PRACTICE
5) Live the way I want to live, skip what I don't like, watch whatever I please on TV

....

AND

...

(as I often reference to Nick)
Live the part of our lives we've been waiting for; ever since our parents used to say, "You can do that when you're older," "you can do whatever you like someday but right now..."

I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT INCLUDING WRITING A BLOG ABOUT HOW I LOVE BEING ABLE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.

So, why the tears?

I have no clue. I look at that stupid bowl-shaped haircut and remember getting trounced by my brothers, tagging along at the heels of my sister, and never getting what I wanted because I was the youngest and had to wait my turn for everything.
But, any picture of childhood has a mysterious power to send me into a sniffling state of brokenness.

::sniffle::

Older, Maybe Wiser

Here are two Christmas pictures taken in Russia. One was last year and the other was this year. Other than the fact I am in the 2008 pictures, do you see any differences other than the gifts we're holding?

I guess we're slowly aging. That's good news.

I just hope we're wiser.

Stroll Down Memory Lane

It is the end of the year and I always right a Year in Review. That probably won't be posted until we edge toward New Year's Eve, but going back even further than a year, I was thinking about how much has happened to my life, Nick's life, our life since we smashed cake into each other's faces and our guests started taking bets who would win in a wrestling match. A lot has changed, especially this year.

Nick's doctoral program, moving to Boston, moving to Cleveland, buying our first home, my trip to the Philippines, Nick's new job, the garbage disposal...all these things have given us tremendous opportunities to grow and learn about ourselves and each other.

We thank God everyday for each of our friends and family members who have supported us this year. And while my Year in Review is still a few weeks away, we just wanted to take this time and say Thank You to all of you who have prayed for us, helped us move in anyway, and assist us in realizing our dreams.

So, thanks. (in a really, really big, Statue of Liberty kind of way)

(By the way, in case you don't remember, or didn't see our wedding cake fight, just know that I TOTALLY won. Look at his face if you need evidence.)

She's All Grown Up - Kelly Borchers to Kelly Norris

Putting the "Big" in Big Fun: Part II

After we completed as many tasks as we could, Keith arrived.

Perfect timing. He was all smiles.

By Thursday evening, everyone was tired, but every 59 minutes someone would say, "Thank God the hall is done." That would followed by a chorus of, "yeahhh....TOTALLY..."

We watched a little sneak peak of the slideshow because Kay "does not want any surprises," and I agreed. It's better to get the crying out now, I thought.

Of course there were tears and it was the first time I managed to stay dry eyed throughout it. I love watching people's reactions when they see funny or moving pictures set to music. It's almost like you can see their memories popping up in their heads.

FRIDAY
We woke up early and immediately went separate ways. Ron went on errands. Kelly went to go get her manicure and pedicure. The boys went golfing. Kay and I went to go get the dress. Ben Norris' wife and daughter, Bhumika (pronounced: Boom-ick- cah) (nickname is Bhum- prounounced "Boom") and Lilly were at the house while everyone disappeared to get the last minute things finished. When we picked up the dress and dropped it off at Kay's parents house, we hung it up and fluffed it out. It looked majestic. I didn't know if Paul would leak out a tear or two, but all seemed dry when we were on our way out.

"We better get going," Kay said to her parents after we were done hanging the dress.

"Yup," Rose would agree.

I started inching near the door thinking that was our cue to leave.

"Bhum and Lilly are at the house waiting there. We might go back there and take them to the hall."

"Oh, okay!" Rose said.

Paul was confused, "Who's BLOOMING LILY?"

I nearly fell over laughing so hard.

"No," Kay said, "Bhum - short for Bhumika - and her daughter Lilly. Not 'Blooming Lily!'"

We made it back to the house and began to get ready for the rehearsal and dinner.

The closed and ripped up roads provided a bit of struggle, but eventually everyone arrived at the rehearsal. It was a great time, including when Tim had to pull out his cell phone to practice his vows. Apparently, Kelly texted what he was supposed to say and it was held in the cell. Always a good resource, that cell phone.

Fireside, an old winery, was the perfect backdrop for the rehearsal dinner. Rog Borchers and Don Cordonnier were the trusty bartenders that night and were quite generous with the Crown, I must add. It was a great evening, but the highlight was the "siblings' speeches" that took place after dinner.

Nick, Keith, and Jay were all giving individual speeches and toasts for Kelly, a moving gesture I thought. Once I heard the plan I thought, "Oh, this'll be a ride on Disaster Transport. They're going to be bawling their eyes out."

Before rehearsal, Keith asked me to hear him out and I did. Twice. In the garage and then Kelly's empty room. It was good. Poor guy, I thought, he's going to bawl like a baby.

Then at the church, Jay asked me to read over his speech, handwritten in green notebook. Poor guy, I thought, he's going to cry himself to sleep tonight.

Nick jailed himself in the basement refusing any help or rehearsal with his speech.

So, the three musketeers marched up to the front of Fireside and stood shoulder to shoulder to deliver their toasts to their one and only sister, Kelly. I had Ron's video camera and thought it's be fun to get it all on tape.

First up: Keith. Funny, moving, delivered well. Choked up midway. Glanced at Kelly - bawling her eyes out.
Second: Jay. Bawling throughout. Miracle all the words came out. Glance at the audience. 65% crying. Kelly - still crying.
Third: Nick. Walks from side to side, dry eyed. Calm and sincere. I hear a whisper, "He talks like a pastor!" Glance at Kelly - tears are under normal control. Glance at self, train wreck. I'm bawling like a big fat baby and can't stop. Why do I have the camera? Whatta horrible idea.

We get through rehearsal and decide to end it around 11pm-ish.

I spot Tim and Kelly alone outside and hear her say good-bye to him. In reply, Tim says, "Next time I see you, you'll be walking down the aisle in your wedding dress." Another hug.

I look at Nick and start crying again. That's what you get for eavesdropping.

Quick Video Before the Ceremony

A few minutes before the ceremony, here the bridesmaids are downstairs of St. Remy Church with Kelly and Kay.

Big Fun Pictures

Remember, I wasn't the photographer for the wedding and made a conscious decision to put my camera away so I could truly be in the moment. That being said, this was probably a dream to photograph because everything was really beautiful and the lighting was perfect for the entire day. So, here's just a few of the pictures I have...if you want more, you'll have to wait for Natalie Baumgardner to finish up.

CLICK HERE FOR BIG FUN PICTURES.

Putting the "Big" in Big Fun: Part I

I am the sole creator of the nickname BIG FUN, aka the Kelly Borchers/Tim Norris wedding that just took place this weekend. September 20, 2008 will go down as BIG FUN: The Night to Remember.

Nick and I left Cleveland Wednesday night after work and didn't arrive until after midnight. Although tired from the long drive, we still couldn't help but make comments. "Why is the road closed?"

"Looks like they're doing road construction."

Mhm, that doesn't sound like a good start for a wedding weekend with lots of out of towners.

As the car bumped along and we passed my favorite street - marveling, once again, at Borchers Road - we turned to find most of the Russian roads ripped up along one side and enormous bulldozers and machinery scattered rather obviously around town.

First thought: Ouch. That doesn't make a pretty wedding picture. I bet Ron and Kay are pissed. Don't the construction people know it's Big Fun weekend?

Wednesday Night
Hugs all around as we enter the house and Russia's long lost one-time seminarian son has returned. It's always nice to see Nick light up when we enter Raider-ville. No matter how tired he is in the car, once he walks through the garage that connects to the kitchen, he's completely reenergized to be near his family.

So, the first night, Kelly, the lovely bride to be, Nick, Ron, Kay and I just talk about the impending nuptuals and all the craziness that goes on the few days prior to the wedding. The next day we would be decorating St. Remy Hall, home of Big Fun dinner and dancing (commonly known as a reception). We hit the hay and I wondered what exactly the Borchers house would look like under such a big event. The questions were endless:

Would Kelly survive all the questions? (It's a researched fact that brides answer approximately 1,000,000 -yes one million - questions in the timeframe of the engagement.)

Is there enough Crown Royal?

Will the bulldozers get out of the way?

Should I refrigerate the Red Bull now or Friday night?

Will it really be 80 degrees on Saturday?

Thursday
The next morning, I went for a long run around town. My new goal is to run a road race before I turn 30 (ahem, 2.27.09) and the lovely slightly manure-ed air of the countryside provided a nice backdrop to my jog. When I returned, I found Kay and Kelly - already having conquered the florist appointment - ready to head up to the hall. I quickly changed and followed suit, running two minutes behind.

I walked two feet into the hall, hoping I wasn't too late and found about 20 excited family members and friends generously volunteering to help decorate the tables. Nick spotted me and whispered into my ear, "Totally predictable, Kelly and Aunt Jan are already crying. Watch out..."

A quick laugh was needed as we all went to work with ribbon, linens, dishware, caramel popcorn (par-tay favors!) and votive candles. The highlight was definitely flicking up the wick of over a couple hundred votive candles with a tack. Ahhh, the manual labor of wedding prep. As we folded the napkins, i laughed and caught up with friends and family. It NEVER ceases to amaze me how generous Nick's family and friends are with their time and resources. All these folks here to set up chairs, tables, cover them, plan routes, hang clothes, wipe something until it shines - for free - is truly remarkable. Nick often says, "Yep, that's Russia."

As the hours pass and more questions surface, I begin having memories (traumatic ones) of my own wedding planning and remember the anxiety of wondering whether the food will satisfy everyone, if the plates look right, if the flowers are the right color. Weddings are unbelievably stressful, but in Borchers-style, they handled it unbelievably smoothly. Ron has lists, Kay has tears, Kelly is direct, Nick is sweating, Jay is still at work, Keith is leaving voicemail messages that he's on his way, and I am smiling with candle wax debris on my face.

The hall is done by 3pm-ish. Not bad.

The Cordonnier Tears

Getting to know Nick's family has been a blessing from the start. They've always welcomed me and made me feel so loved at every gathering, party, and celebration. After getting to know the two sides - Borchers and Cordonniers - I can now clearly see the differences in each and see how they influence Nick to be the man he has grown to be.

I thought that since they are his side of the family, the influence would stop with Nick. I am beginning to think I am wrong.

The Cordonniers, Nick's maternal side, shed some serious tears at emotional times. The first time Nick cried in front of me was back in 1998 when we were just good friends and hanging out. This was before I fell in love with him and thought he was a normal guy. We went to go see The Sixth Sense at the movie theater and while I was definitely emotional at the end, I couldn't believe Nick's reaction.

After you find out that Bruce Willis is really a ghost and departs from the love of his life, I got a bit choked up but it was contained. I sighed and grabbed my purse to get ready to head out. I looked to my right and saw Nick staring at the credits rolling, completely still. "Uh, are you alright?"

"I'm just really shocked by that movie."

I agreed, "I know, it was intense."
It took me a while to see through the dim lighting, but there he was - crying in a Norwood theater over a M. Night Shyamalan movie. I didn't say anything, but the shock of this guy crying next to me was more shocking than the Bruce Willis/ghost revelation.

We were quiet until I brought it up in the car. Remember, this was before we were dating, I couldn't really insult him by asking what in the world was wrong with him crying manly tears while I was completely dry eyed.

"Were you crying?" Nice subtle question.

"Yeah, it just runs in my family. My mom's side of the family cries at everything. It doesn't even have to be a big event. One time, Grandpa even cried during a basketball game in the Russia gym."

"Why?" I was incredulous.

"Because, it was an emotional moment!"

"Oh, I see."

But, that's the thing - I didn't see. Not until now anyway.

A few months ago, I told Kelly, Nick's sister, that I would be happy to do a slideshow for the wedding - aka BIG FUN - because I've been asked to do so many that it's not really difficult for me to create one now that I have the software and the right formula to put it together. Over the past few weeks, since I got back from the Philippines, I was pushing Kelly to move forward with it because it's a nice small momento to watch in the years ahead as Nick and I watch our slideshow the morning of our wedding anniversary. She conceded and sent me several envelopes full of pictures. I asked for photos of Tim and his family and friends and soon began sorting through hundreds of photos that folks had sent me.

Putting a slideshow together is really about detail - detail of getting the pictures in a sensible order, balance of each person, the right music, putting the transitions to tempo, beginning and end fades - so in the end a lovely story is told.

Kelly is the younger sister I always wanted so imagine my surprise when I find myself - not once, not twice, not thrice - but in MULTIPLE crying episodes as I have put the slideshow together. As the final touches are layered on this week, Nick has walked in as I hastily dry my tears and am rolling my eyes at myself. He smiles, "The Cordonniers are starting to rub off of ya, huh?"

Kelly and Tim's Engagement Slideshow

2008 started off with a bang!

Nick and I were partying like rock stars at the Renaissance Hotel in Columbus, Ohio with Tim, Kelly, Ruthie, Books, and loved ones. At approximately 10pm, Kelly got the surprise of her life!

WHOOP IT UP!

08 - OH GREAT!